The Ms. X Interview
Why do some women always have a man in their life?
This "Romance Trap" interview was conducted with the promise of keeping Ms. X, anonymous. After all, she's now happily married to the man of her dreams. Before she met him though, there was never a time in her adult life when there wasn't a man in her life and it wasn't because she was easy!
She was one of those women men were always attracted to.
She didn't have to work at it or be someone other than her real self.
I wanted to find out what was different about her. She is a good looking, attractive woman, but there are scores of attractive good looking women who live alone. She has a great personality -- but again it's not just her personality.
With her permission and generosity, I was able to ask her some very personal questions:
RT: Before I start the questioning I want to thank you for your willingness to be helpful. A lot of single woman will be reading this interview who want to understand why some women get the men while others don't...
Ms X: I'll answer your questions as honestly as I can.
RT: Is it safe to say you've had a lot of men in your life through the years?
Ms X: Yes -- I was always looking for Mr. Right. I guess you could say I had to do a lot of trial and error dating. That's how I finally learned about myself and about the man I was looking for.
RT: You're familiar with the book "The Romance Trap" aren't you?
Ms. X: If I had that book years ago I would have saved a lot of time, energy and aguish.
RT: What do you mean?
Ms X: I wasn't born with a lot of common sense. I didn't have an older sister or experienced girl friends to clue me in about men -- and there wasn't any adult female role model in my life, who gave me any advice. Everything I learned, I leaned the hard way...
RT: So you became "street smart" about men?
Ms. X: No! nothing like that. I was always open with my heart. More often than not too generous. Which actually scared away more men that it attracted.
RT: But you never had trouble finding a man did you?
Ms. X: No, it was never a problem. Having a man in my life just seemed like the most normal, natural thing. I never really thought about it. They were always around.
RT: I know you've thought about this because I gave you a list of questions before the interview -- If you could point to one thing about yourself that you believe was attractive to men, what would it be?
Ms X: I'm a happy person. Men are always attracted to happy women. One those unusual days when I was having a bad day -- they were no where to be found!
RT: Wait a minute? You're an attractive woman. Didn't that have something to do with it?
Ms. X: Of course I tried to present myself in the best way possible -- but there were women better looking than me and dressed way better than I was -- but I was the one the men were attracted to.
RT: So you think the big difference was your happy vibe?
Ms X: Without a doubt. Men do not want to have to work through issues, games and negative force fields -- and I don't blame them. Women don't seem to understand that men are pretty fragile. They don't want to feel humiliated or rejected by a beautiful woman! It's devastating.
Now you take a beautiful woman with a down to earth attitude and personality and you have a man-killer! She makes him feel safe around her and he'll be attracted to her like a fly to sugar!
RT: You think that too many single woman are their own worst enemy when it comes to attracting a man?
Ms. X: Absolutely! They don't know how to be gracious and kind. I mean, men a people not some kind predatory animal lurking around. Too many women have a strange attitude when they go out in public. It's "hands off! don't talk to me ...don't acknowledge me". That's a lot of barriers and most men won't waste their time trying to work through.
I never understood why so many women are afraid to show men their inner light.
RT: Inner-light?
Ms. X: Yes, I think it's a woman's most powerfully attractive part of herself.
RT: Why do you think that's so?
Ms. X: I think it goes back to childhood when the man was a little boy. It reminds his of the beautiful radiance in his Mother's loving face. It was his first experience with love from a woman and he's been searching for that same kind of radiance ever since -- It's the most attractive part of a woman to a man because of that connection he makes.
RT: Are you saying most men are looking for Mothers?
Ms. X: No ..no. It's the beautiful light in his Mother's eyes he first experienced as a baby ...when she held him in her arms. Every man is searching for that kind of nurturing love. The radiance he see's in a happy woman is like a primal trigger that immediately feels familiar and right to him.
RT: Wow! -- that's an incredible insight --I've never heard that before...
RT: What about how a woman dresses?
Ms. X: I noticed something interesting when I was single and socially active: When I dressed to the "nines" I had fewer men attracted to me than when I was a bit more casual. There was even a big difference when I put a lot of make-up on versus having very little. The less make-up, the more attractive I was to men.
I think men feel that a woman with a lot of make-up on comes across hard. Make-up does not soften a women's look. It actually makes most women look older than they are. It's sad to see a beautiful woman hiding under a bunch of make-up sitting alone at a table in a night club...Oh, and watch the perfume girls!
RT: If you had one piece of advice you could give an adult single woman about being attractive to men, what would it be?
Ms. X: Be comfortable in your own skin! This probably sounds like a cliche, but be yourself and be happy. Don't pretend to be someone else with your attitude or the way you dress -- you'll always come across uncomfortable and unreal.
I hate seeing women who after getting divorced decide to go out to a night club. It's like they have a neon sign on their head that says: "Beware -- Divorced and Insecure".
Too much make-up, clothes that don't fit her age or demeanor...and a hairstyle from hell! This poor woman needs a friend to tell her that's not who she is and everybody knows it. You can't fake being yourself! Don't try to dress younger than you are -- just be yourself. You'll feel better, have way more fun and be much more attractive!
RT: Ms. X, I want to thank you for sharing your insights with us and our readers.
Ms. X: It's been my pleasure. If my experiences can help out others, I'm glad to share them.
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